Let's Talk About Life and All

Photo Credit: HERE

This is just a random post anyway, I just want to talk about life I am facing right now. Being a degree student is not easy I must tell; I only have 5 subjects for this semester and I have a lot of free time especially my weekend goes for 4 days straight starting from Friday to Monday and I know it is a good thing.

But well, the assignments are piling up day by day, the submission date is just around the corner and I'm still lost somewhere I don't even know. I mean, my lecturers aren't giving us direct instructions on what I need to do so me & my classmates did it freely; let's just hope we did it well. It's too different from my diploma years where everything is told with details. That's rough, tough & hard. But that is life anyway.

I am sorry that I went away from my blog for the past weeks, trying my best to pick myself up to what I have been facing for the last 2 weeks, I know this is not easy for me but eventually, I'll get through this. I honestly hate to face this situation because I know how hard it will be to me. I thought I will never get through this again but then I was wrong. I am at my lowest, and I am still looking forward to stand up straight again, back to when I was. I offered myself to risk this for ONCE, so here I am, risking the risk I said I would take.

Don't feel hopeless as there are still many wonderful things waiting - Sabrina, 2019

Actually, the reason why I made up this whole post is to tell everyone that whatever problems they are facing, they are not alone because 'they' are feeling low and they have a lot of pressures with their life. They are battling with their emotions due to family & relationship problems. I didn't see it coming to me, like, I mean, I end up writing this for myself and that's funny. 

Apart from that, dealing with homesick feeling is just another level of problem being a student. I know Melaka is just 100+ km from Shah Alam but not getting to go back home every week sucks. I am scared to death to ride on the bus, to go to the terminal all by myself but thank God I survived few times before, but still paranoid all over me. I miss home but I need to bear in mind that it is normal to be apart from my family, and I still can go back home anytime I want after class. This is normal, this is life.

Besides, dealing with people around me is one of the greatest problem too. Friends or more, strangers, customers, lecturers, mutual, everyone I mean. I know it is hard for me to keep in touch with those people (my friends) but dealing with others are the real problem. I hate meeting new people, the eye contact, so it will be hard for me to communicate with them. Plus, we never know what they feel in mind, I always question myself what do they feel about me when they see me. I am scared if i look bad to someone & it shows when I see some people looking at me like- am I a joke to you guys or what?

Plus, I am so so bad at being a friend or someone special to anyone. I admit I am not really a good friend during my diploma years, but I want to change everything to be better on my degree life. I'd like to appreciate more to people who are there for me when I need them most. I know this is a bit personal but this gives me a reason why I need to do better. I know people are changing and that is why we should look at the present, not past. One thing you should remember is that not all people have common sense; not everyone is raised just how you were raised; accept them.

Apart from relationship with humans, we should never forget our relationship with Allah. This sounds so cliche for some people but honestly, I do think we all missed out some things in our life especially when it comes to Ibadah. I make sins everyday too, but when I look back why do I received a lot of struggles is that because my lack of communication to Him. Whatever you do, whatever you feel, talk to Him. Pray. That is how you make your life better. Istg, you'll sense differences when you pray & ask Him.

Approaching to the end of the semester, I know I should give my best in my study, and I need to balance my social life, my leisure time with my study, too. This is hard but this is life I am living. I cannot simply run away from what I am facing. I can't simply drop off everything from my shoulder and let it be there. I need to face it no matter what. It is all depends on me to make it better; or to make it worse. Same goes to you, it's either you want to change your life to be better or let it be the way it is- nothing less and nothing more or even worse than you thought. 

Bear in mind, you are responsible towards your own decision in life. You decide, so you should live with it. Don't think too much, live it with your own style. Make it colourful, beautiful, as what you want it to be. Remember, YOLO - you only live once. Live with it. Embrace everything. Your life is good, you should be thankful for everything, not to complain. Everything happens for a reason. Believe in Him, He is the best planner.

You'll get through it. Maybe not today, but someday, it will - Azreen, 2019

Life is not always on your side, live with it, be responsible to it, make it better in your way. You know what to do with your life, so do it. Have a nice Mubarak, everyone.